This blog has gone from a space for Latin American news (the name of the blog coming from a quote from Jose Martí) to my imagining I could write a novel at 22 to a travelogue that reinterpreted my life on the road. I’m more settled now than I was at any of those other iterations of me but I’m still here.
I have a sense of what I want to do here. This would be the place I’d enact a grand series of paragraphs detailing everything that is to come. But not tonight.
Mainly, I want to write freely again. I want to write so that I don’t kill time. I want to write so that I don’t drink.
I took the above photo in 2010, sitting on a stoop overlooking Tennessee St. in Lawrence, Kansas. If it looks like I’m trying to disappear into that bottle, I was then, and I have wanted to since. I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic by any means but, like a lot of people I know or have met, alcohol plays such an intrinsic role in my social life, my writing life, my creative life.
So I’m shocked – shocked! – to find out that its “intrinsic role” was subversion. It crafted someone who talked more than act; fashioned himself something while remaining nothing.
I’ve led a damn crazy and great life. And while I’d change a few things here and there, I’m hoping that my coming back to this medium, with a new foundation of energy, will prove that I’ve lived the way I have for a reason. If I’m inspired, I’m inspired. If I’m lonesome, I’m lonesome. If I’m lonely, I’m lonely.
My friend Katherine and I started a pact on the way back from the UFO Festival in McMinnville, Oregon – one month without beer. It’s only been five days but I can already feel a difference. Whenever I have a craving, I put $3 (roughly the price of the Outburst I’d more than likely pick up) into my savings account. It’s early, I know. But I think this could be an important step, one I’d love to document, one I’d to remember.
I’ll probably write about booze for about a month. I’ll probably write about writing. I’ll probably talk about politics and Latin America and punk rock. I’ll certainly dive into my life and my travels and try to reimagine myself without a beer in my hand, without a constant buzz, without the beer belly.
Without to within. Cheers!